Gosh, it feels so good to blow off steam and complain about work, right?
Unless you are calling all of the shots, inevitably something happens that seem so wrong or so unfair. You just can’t believe what’s happening, so it’s great to be validated by others who agree with you.
You know the conversation:
You: “I can’t believe the boss is asking us do that!!”
Work pal: “No kidding, that’s so bogus. There’s no way I am going to do that.”
You: “Exactly, I am so furious.”
and so on….
Unfortunately, research shows complaining makes the situation and your feelings about it worse. You get more and more angry and less motivated to go the extra mile.
What DOES work?
1. If you have complain, choose carefully to whom you will share the complaint. The best outcome is if you choose someone who is able to reframe the complaint, opening the door for a new perspective or a more productive response.
2. Don’t complain. Negative feelings are likely to subside, rather than intensify.
“….when we are complaining, we are increasing the extent to which we see things with an external locus of control. We are essentially saying, the world happens to me and there’s nothing I can do about it. When we talk to somebody who reframes, they’re helping us give us that internal locus of control, helping us see that we are an agent, that there are ways to move forward to fix the situation.”
#work #complaints #toxicworkplace #positivepsychology #positiveintelligence #careercounseling #coach #careercoach
Thanks @Shankar Vedantam Robin Kowalski @mike baer & #hiddenbrain for a relevant and insightful podcast.